Christmas gifts

This Christmas holiday has been huge. As I am typing this on my new iPhone, I must say that my parents went extravagant in what they bought my brothers and me. Each of us got wii games, clothes, and a iPhone.

The reason this Christmas break has been so amazing is not because of the wealth my parents have been blessed with but truely the love and friendship I have been blessed with. I am happy to be back and having fun with the people I had met over the summer, people I have come to love on a deeper level.

Yet I know that I must and will find a great group of people at Azusa, that is one thing that I am praying over: the group of people God will bless me with there. I feel ready to head back now, ready to see what's in store for me.

Youth Ministry?

I've decided to change this just from a alpha blog into an actual blog.

Today I was just reflecting on what the Lord is calling me to do and I put together some obvious clues in to the idea of youth ministy. I'll be honest and say that I don't really know what the job entitles but I know something.

I've realized that my my outgoing personality is something to be used. In no way conceited, I can say that I have an odd talent of people getting a long really well with people. It seems my personality will be used to be an example and to encourage others around me.

The only hesitation I had was that I'm ready theologically. Honestly I am learning so much right now, and forming opinions about arguments that I had never heard of previously. I still don't know very much, but I am so passionate about learning more, I'm even thinking of double majoring (communications and theology)? I don't really know.

All I know is that there are pretty big steps that I'm going to be taking these next few years, I'm going to be challenged spiritually and mentally.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I'm ready to take on what God will lead me through. I'm confident He will provide people along the way. I just need prayer that I am patient in finding them. I'm waiting and praying for an accountability partner and a mentor.

Thank you Lord for the people so far and the people back home. You have guided my thoughts into praying and caring for others .

Psalm 25

"1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!"



This is my prayer at this time.

Captain Planet

Global vision is an awesome point of view. I wish I had that idea during highschool when church had its annual missions trip. Only last summer did I go on a missions trip and it was awesome. I felt the speaker putting on the pressure to do a missions trip, and I was thinking of all the possibilities and realized that I'm not really being called to on a grand scale missions trip (atleast through APU). So far I have plans to go on the spring break Mexico trip then I go with Mens Chorale to Hawaii which will be awesome to see a different side of Hawaii then the usual tourist side.

I need to pray with confidence.

Don't Hate, Appreciate

I'm disappointed that a missing wallet and missing keys have reduced me to discouragement. My positivity is being attacked and I can see that.

Hatred is bad. That's all I can really think of. I try not to use the word hate with anyone and try not to with anything. I also never slander someone, and it's hard for me to hear someone discriminating against someone. Even all the words like "fag" and "queer" kind of get to me, because I've often heard homosexual people feel offended by those words. I don't care whether someone agrees with their lifestyle, it's about caring about the individual.

I've been praying about relationships/friendships, and I will continue to be praying.

His Banner Over Me is Love, His Love.

You know you are in the right place when you walk down your hallway and hear that your neighbor is blasting worship music.

Right now I am doing one of my goals. I am diving into the Word of God. Starting with the book of Job. God has given me a Bible accountablity partner from my old high school and so it is awesome to be sharing how the Word affects us.

"What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention that you examine him every morning and test him every moment?" Job 7:17-18

I just see this passage that God is always with us, just like what we are learning in Kaleo. How amazing is it, that He spends his individual attention on me, just like he spends attention on you. I see that God has helped me to overcome obstacles, used my past to relate to others, and has given me Godly people in my life to grow from and to be encouragement to.

On to the subject of addictions part 2:

I am so thankful that I can talk about these things in the past tense. I used to struggle with both pornography and with body image.

Many males struggle with it and I know that I was often influenced to. My friends in high school were very much into it. Even though I recognized that it was a digusting habit, it was hard to not get into it when the pressure is on. As a speaker once said in Junior High Hume Lake, you will never forget those images, which is a reason not to see them. Thankfully I have stopped and do not ever want to pursue it again.

Body image is that weird one to talk about, but honestly it's a very sensitive subject to talk about, and is usually not connected to males. Ever since I was young, it was apparent how different I was shaped. My brothers teased me about my weight calling me chubbasaurus (which I now look back upon and laugh), but for me at that age, it was very damaging. All throughout junior high and high school I was ashamed of the way I looked, specifically my weight. Last winter was particulary rough, I gained a lot of weight from not doing water polo, and people took notice. I remember a dear friend called me fat and it was shattering. I avoided anything to do with taking my shirt off, I was ashamed to get into a hot tub or change in front of people. I hated myself so much, I luckily never went overboard into an eating disorder yet still, I hate to relive those moments of standing in front of the mirror and just having pure hatred to the fat face that was looking back at me.
I am so much better now. I have gained a massive amount of self esteem and I have come to love my body and to love the way I look. I'm not even ashamed to say that I am attractive, in fact, everyone should say that they are attractive, because they are.

A warning though to those who say sarcastic comments to others, be careful what you say, even though you are joking, people can take what you say to heart.

Party Hardy

It's good to start this blog after the Alpha meeting that we had on Sunday night.

I've really just been reflecting on alcohol for a while now.

Really I haven't surrounded myself in it, I've never had the friends that went out and did it (they saved out until after graduation) and I was never around my brothers if they took it too far, I just know they like to drink.

It seems that the dependency and appeal of alcohol is just something that the secular world is telling us it's "ok". In all honesty, breaking the law should never be alright. I'm not saying people don't do it, and I'm far from perfect, but shouldn't we be striving for the perfection of God? As Christ followers, we are to be like Christ no matter what mindsets we are previously in. These are easy answers to such a huge thing to struggle with. We can struggle together though, keep each other accountable, discover together the things that are keeping us.

The future is but ahead of us.

Goals:
1. I hope to become an alpha leader next year.
Being involved like I am today in the Ambassador program has become really important. I think that involvement in things was something I lacked previously but now I am just excited to be involved and to especially be working with people since that is something I love to do. In strengths talk I guess I use Woo, Communication, Positivity and Developer in this.

2. I want to study abroad someplace where I can do work with the community surrounding it.
What other time would I really get to go to school in another country for a semester than now? I am so looking forward to studying abroad and getting to live in an all new setting. More importantly I want to go somewhere that I can help the community I am living with. In strengths talk I would Adaptability.

3. I want to make a strong life-time group of friends, that are on fire for God, surround me throughout my journey here in APU and in life.
Community is a very powerful thing and I am definitely looking for those people who will go through life's trials and life's happy moments together. People to keep me accountable and to learn more about the Lord together. Hopefully I "win those people over" and can use my developer and positivity strengths to contribute to the group.

4. Lastly, I want to learn more about God's Word.
I feel there is so much more for me to read, so much more for me to interpret, so much more for me to apply to my life that I just need to dive in.

Ooh.. so strong!

Woo
"Woo stands for winning others over. You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. On the contrary, strangers can be energizing. You are drawn to them. You want to learn their names, ask them questions, and find some area of common interest so that you can strike up a conversation and build rapport. Some people shy away from starting up conversations because they worry about running out of things to say. You don't. Not only are you rarely at a loss for words; you actually enjoy initiating with strangers because you derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection. Once that connection is made, you are quite happy to wrap it up and move on. There are new people to meet, new rooms to work, new crowds to mingle in. In your world there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet-lots of them."
I can see exactly why this is my number one strength, and it somewhat scares me. I do love meeting groups of new people, and these first few weeks in college has put my connecting ability to the test. I think because of my past experiences in high school, I’m going to be able to better handle this strength without having the feeling of being “spread thin”.

Adaptability
"You live in the moment. You don't see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn't mean that you don't have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once."
Once I thought of myself as futuristic minded, yet I saw that I don't always live in the future, what I do is take things that happen in the present and see where they possibly can take me. I don’t often like to live a scheduled life and so that’s how I can deal with anything that comes in my day. Many corkscrews are still to come in life, I can't say I'll know what they are, but whatever they are, I'm sure I can take them on.

Communication
"You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. This is your Communication theme at work. Ideas are a dry beginning. Events are static. You feel a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid. And so you turn events into stories and practice telling them. You take the dry idea and enliven it with images and examples and metaphors. You believe that most people have a very short attention span. They are bombarded by information, but very little of it survives. You want your information-whether an idea, an event, a product's features and benefits, a discovery, or a lesson-to survive. You want to divert their attention toward you and then capture it, lock it in. This is what drives your hunt for the perfect phrase. This is what draws you toward dramatic words and powerful word combinations. This is why people like to listen to you. Your word pictures pique their interest, sharpen their world, and inspire them to act."
Sometimes I ask myself, ” When does my mouth really close?” I talk a lot, and recently learned that I love to make speeches. Sometimes I still get those nerves about what I am going to say since I'm not always sure how it will be received yet still I love to speak to inspire and grab attention through talking. This is exactly why I plan on going into communications. I believe that I could hold a future in anything having to do with communicating.

Positivity
"You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won't allow it. Somehow you can't quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one's sense of humor."
This strength is the strength that I actually wanted to be number one in. I just love the idea of positivity and I really strive to be shine in this strength. I remember every award in sports that I won had the description of how I came with a smile every day (nothing to do with athletic talent). Often times I love to use sense of humor to make tough things like a sports workout more fun. Sense of humor is huge in who I am as a person, I try to make fun out of any situation.

Developer
"You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth-a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments-invisible to some-are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you."
I feel this fifth strength is one that I am just starting to develop or possibly just starting to see. Along with my optimistic viewpoint, I am truly seeing people as potential in what God can/will do with them. I don’t know what more to say about this because honestly I can’t see it too much, or just don’t see any example in my life yet.

In a nut shell..

It's just my luck that when I finally sit down to do my blog, a huge dance party starts outside.

I didn't mean that in a sarcastic way, I think everyone knows that I love a good dance party. Well, I love anything fun actually. I'd like to describe myself as a person that can make situations enjoyable and that I am just an optimistic person. I've learned to have a blast in any situation and to just have a positive outlook on many things.

My outlook has changed a lot from that of when I was in high school. Yeah I was still that charismatic kid with a great outlook on life, but it was a much different outlook. Now that I reflect, I had many insecurities in high school. Yeah, I was the homecoming king and voted everybody's best friend in the yearbook, yet those did no justice. A lot of time I would wonder who my real friends are. Often times I tend to build only surface level friendships, or I just get myself involved in a group that is just shallow. A friend said it best one time when she said that I "spread myself too thin".

Luckily, (I mean it!) over the summer I made some really great friendships. Alright, so I knew these people before but we definitely bonded over the summer. These people were positive Christian influences in my life. It was sad to see them off when I transitioned from the summer to APU, yet it was great timing to come to a campus where I can surround myself with more people with common beliefs.

I am much more spiritually aware of God's presence now, then I was a couple of months ago. God really worked through in my missions trip to Ethiopia, and it was amazing to hear His voice as confirmation that works and speaks through people. It's great timing to come from such an amazing trip to come to APU and grow more in spirituality.

I am: fun, optimistic, secure, spiritual and most of all, ready to see where God takes me.